struggling

I struggled to motivate myself today - to go to work, to go out and be social, to participate - so I didn't!

As for the crush, I am no closer, in fact further if the rumoured boyfriend is true. Ah well - it's not like I've much to offer anyway...

Won't stop me from my vague and pathetic attempts at internet stalking - I knew where she was this last week - semi international sporting event - and did quite well from the results. But I won't mention it.

Wonder if I will be brave enough to invite her to lunch with another colleague and I - can't hurt trying anyways.

We shall see.

smokin'

I've been craving a cigarette for a couple of days now...

That's what happens when you go 'cold turkey' I guess... again

I didn't want to buy any - I gave up on1 September and have had 4 since then, whilst out drinking. 3 of them were on the one drunken evening.

So imagine my surprise at finding 2 of them in a cigarette tin sitting on my bookshelf. I was just moving it out of the way and had no idea there were any in there.

I have had 1 now. It tasted awful, has made my head spin and I'm not sure my guts are coping well but at least that craving is over now. Aah but there is still 1 more there and I know its there, wonder how long it will take me. Better smoked and gone than sitting there tempting me.

crush 2009

It's a dangerous beast but I have been enjoying chatting about all this stuff so as manic as it might appear, it's kinda good to get it out - sometimes I just need to get it out!

so - a post about my 1st crush, a quick drivel question and onwards to today....

crush 2009 - even if you don't know who you are :) - I guess you have strong arms judging you by your sporting activities, so tell me, do you want to hold or be held?

drivel

does anyone actually read this sort of hidden drivel?